How many of us are ready to lose everything to gain so much more????
Let’s not all answer at once.
I will start first, NOT ME!!!
Now, as a believer-a-Christ follower, that is literally what Jesus calls me to do.”[Luke 9:23-24 NLT] 23 Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. 24 If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.”
When I first gave my life to Christ, it was because I was tired of the mental and emotional torment I experienced on a daily basis. Night and Day Terrors, suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, anger, restlessness and so much more. As I continue to journey with Christ, I wanted to experience a deeper spiritual relationship encounter because, to be honest, I was bored of just going to church and sitting in the pews and still leaving the same. [I didn’t know it then, but my spirit desired and needed to be closer to Father God]
I must admit at first I sought after the encounters in my own ways: through the eyes of others, believing in the universe, listening to many false teachings, etc. Then I thought, if I got busy doing good and fixing myself, I would feel that closeness in the spirit. So, I tried to stop cursing, drinking, having sex, and showing myself worthy of this great God. Yeah, that lasted only so long, before the tormentors of my soul (my demons, came back in full force) driving me literally to try and commit suicide.
I remember it so clearly: It was my birthday weekend several years ago, I had promised myself I wouldn’t get drunk again. Yet, failed on that promise and woke up the next morning, not remembering how I got home or if I had sex with anyone. I felt horrible, I started to cry uncontrollably because once again I failed! It was about 6 in the morning and my boys were still sleeping. So I go in my truck and planned to drive it into Lake Michigan because I just knew I failed God and I couldn’t keep living like this. I was driving, laser-focused on getting to the lakefront, I didn’t leave a note because I could not explain what I had been feeling.
Then God intervened, literally, I looked up and found myself at my sister’s house, ringing the doorbell. (To this day, I can not explain how I got there, because I all remember is pulling up to her house) Her husband opened the door and let me in because I am still crying uncontrollably, I couldn’t tell him what was wrong, because I had no words. He immediately woke my sister up and she took me into the living and just held me as I cried, She began to pray for me and then I begin to tell her what I had intended to do and how I was tired of trying so hard and failing.
That day marked the turning point in my life, where the spirit of suicide and death was broken off of me. I began the process of giving up the shame and guilt of my hurt and brokenness for God to start the restoration process-making all things new. “[Isaiah 43:19 NLT] 19 For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”
The following year I rededicated my life to Christ. I gave God my Yes and allowed him to remove everything and everyone that did belong in my life, that was blocking me from being who God originally created me to be. I dealt with my past and myself by acknowledging that I played a major part in my brokenness. I began my own Journey of Healing, Deliverance, and Wholeness, which has not always been easy, and to be honest some days I be ready to throw in the towel. Yet, every day I wake up glad that God did not give up on me, even when I had given up on myself.
So I want to encourage you to try JESUS for yourself. You do not have to be perfect or have it all figured out. God loves you and there is so much waiting for you if you just believe.
[Romans 10:9-10 NLT] 9 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.
“I create content that empowers individuals who have gone through trauma & abuse to move beyond the trauma and into their HEALING, for a chance to live an abundant life!” -Healing Is A Journey™