Adulting & Healing

Sometimes I forget I am an adult who can make sound decisions for herself. Okay, before you judge me and start side-eyeing me, let me explain. I have spent so much of my life in fight-or-flight mode, waiting for the next shoe to drop, on edge and anxious.  Now, after being in seasons of healing and recovery and coming out to live in my healing, it’s like being locked in a dark room for years and finally experiencing light. It is taking some time to adjust, and I find myself treading lightly as I move forward hesitantly. 

This is the life I have prayed for and worked hard to obtain, yet I still struggled to accept my worthiness and the capability for it all. And then this morning, I had an epiphany, I AM GROWN!!! I AM CAPABLE!!! And I AM DADDY’S GIRL (Father God), and I HAVE THE HOLY SPIRIT to help me!!! 

You see, I was never a gray area person, I went from one extreme to another, either I was wilding out in these streets or super religious. So, learning to exercise my free will in Christ has been challenging in time, because I am afraid of messing up and sliding back to my wild side. Until I realized what this scripture really means: “[John 15:4, 7 KJV] 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. ... 7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.”

Outside of Christ, I can not sustain myself and be ALL God created me to be, and so I will revert back to old ways that would have been the death of me. But in Christ, I am CAPABLE of making sound decisions, doing good, being good, and walking this faith walk wholeheartedly. Every time I read my bible and familiarize myself with scriptures and get an understanding for myself I am planting seeds within me of God’s Holy Truths about his daughter ME. I also get instructions on how to keep from going back to a way of life that was not my own. Every time I sit with the Father and journal my thoughts, confess my ways (the good, bad, and ugly), there is a release in my soul of shame and defeat. Every time I sing songs that sing of the goodness of the Lord, my heart believes, and every time I fall on my knees to pray, cry, and talk to God, my soul continues to heal, and my own desires start to become what God wants for me and not just what I want for myself. 

None of this has been easy, at times I look back and wonder about what was or could have been, but I look around at what “IS” in my life, such as peace that is replacing anxiety, joy that has replaced depression, healing that is replacing cancer, and love that has healed my brokenness, and THEN I KNOW…I AM AN ADULT, I HAVE FREE WILL, but I am also the DAUGHTER OF THE MOST HIGH, and he has entrusted me to make sound and healed decisions! And so I move about my days with an ease and confidence of who I am, whose I am, and who I will NO LONGER BE!

I pray that those who may struggle in your identity, their decisions, and more, will find out about the goodness and mercy of an everlasting, unconditionally loving FATHER!!!!

You no longer have to do this life alone, nor struggle silently or ashamed. 

I want to ask you whether you have accepted Christ as your Lord and Saviour?

If not, just pray this simple prayer:

 I believe that Jesus Christ shed His precious blood and died and rose again for me. I confess with my heart and mouth, and I now invite Jesus Christ to come into my heart and life as my personal Savior.

"But as many as received him, to them He gave power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His name:" (John 1:12)

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new" [new life begins]. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

I love y’all

Listiner Inspires

Remember to BE BOLD, BE UNASHAMED, AND most importantly

BE HEALED!!!