I Have A Family

I AM NO LONGER AN ORPHAN!!!! God has answered yet another prayer. 

[Psams 68:5-6 NLT] 5 Father to the fatherless, defender of widows--this is God, whose dwelling is holy. 6 God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

Something miraculous happened last month.

As you may or may not know, I grew up in a very toxic home environment. My mother was abusive to me physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually. And it caused me to seek out validation and attention from sources other than God.  I didn't know about his unconditional love. Even hearing about it, I wasn't able to comprehend, understand, or accept how the God who created the world could love and even accept someone such as myself, who I thought was unlovable because the very person who gave birth to me did not love and may not have even wanted me.

So how does one recover from that? How does one heal from such a deep and wide wound that reaches the very core of who they are?  Jesus is the answer to that, but it was not an easy process for me.  I rejected Jesus, I rejected his word, and I went back on my word to be better so many times on this journey.  I relied and was dependent on sexual encounters, unfortunately, and a lot of unprotected sex. I was codependent on alcohol; as a matter of fact, I was an alcoholic. I had a very addictive personality, so I would attach myself to people who showed me the least bit of attention, the least bit of validation, so much so that I had set up alters and idols in my life and in my heart that were not of God. 

But God! He so loves me that he came and got me and set me free! [John 3:16 NLT] 16 "For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. My healing was not a linear process; it was a journey in the Lord that took me back to my childhood to address lies and replace them with the truth of the word of God.  Every area of my life that was false, that was demeaning, that was hurtful, that kept me in bondage to addiction and to the wrong people started to be released layer by layer. Most recently, this year, I had a revelation about a prayer I have been praying for the longest.  I had a ache in my heart for the love of a mother, something I had never experienced before. It wasn't until I accepted God's unconditional love and began to believe it by telling myself I'm the daughter of the king and of God, who created the world, and that he loves me so much. He knows every hair on my head, and he has saved my life for a purpose that will bring him glory. And soon enough, I started to believe it in my heart. Layer by layer, I let go of those things that I was bound to, and most recently this year, I let go of someone I had made an idol of, and I grieved the loss of them.

And I even asked God why couldn't the relationship be repaired and restored his way and realizing that how it started was not of God and so it had to end God's way and so I felt a void again I felt a loss again but this time I sought the healer of my heart and my wounds to feel that void way his love and his presence I asked him to prepare those areas that constantly looked to other things outside of him and he did.  Slowly but surely, I feel the little girl that was once broken, lost, denied, and rejected, starting to feel loved and cared. Finally accepting validation by the very creator of the world, who took the time to create me in such great detail and in a purpose-perfect way. And so this week, I attended my local church event designed for the seniors to gather, fellowship, and break bread, and one of them invited me to come.  I thought to myself, why would I attend? So proceeded to tell her, “I have not been blessed yet to be a senior, I'm only 48,” but she said, “Come, you're welcome!” So I prayed about it and went.” 

And boy, oh boy, was I glad I went. I heard the Lord tell me that the church community was my new family in him,  and I didn't have just one mother; I had many mothers in the body of Christ. These women loved me. They told me they were proud of me, called me "baby girl," and one of them said I was like a daughter to her.  

 I knew then that God had healed my mother's wound, and I came into the full understanding of what it’s like to be adopted into the family of Christ Jesus. I knew then that I was no longer an orphan or abandoned, but I had a family that would not leave or forsake me because my Father God had sent them.  [Romans 8:15 NLT] 15 So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God's Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, "Abba, Father."

For those who have been broken by the very people that were sent to love you, the very family that you were born into that hurt you instead of loving you.  I encourage you to seek the Lord to heal that mother's womb and orphan spirit properly. Because what you don’t heal will continue to make you feel abandoned and neglected, leaving you struggling to find yourself in all the wrong places and things.

 God sees you!

 God loves you!

 God wants better for you!

I pray that you find all that you need and want in him!

If you are struggling with your identity or in any area of your life, I offer 101 healing sessions to coach you and walk you through your healing journey. You don’t have to heal alone. Book a complimentary intro session

Remember always to BE Bold, BE Confident, and most importantly, BE Healed in the name of Jesus.

Love Ya,

Listiner Inspires